Questioning the Creator

Written by Eryn Wells

First of all, let me just say, I am not endorsing my thought processes here. Instead, I’m being shamefully honest in hopes that it would leave all of us standing in awe of our God’s faithfulness and gentleness.  

My husband Dylan and I recently returned from a trip to the Gambia. The point of this trip was to see how we as a family, and Waypoint as a church, could invest in the work God is doing in a rural village called Sibanor. Waypoint has been traveling to the Gambia since 2016 and on every trip, we have seen how God is working in the hearts of the local people there. These are people who have limited (if any) access to the Gospel. Let that sink in- we often take for granted how well-known Jesus is in America but some of these people have NEVER heard. In addition to the work we have seen God doing, each team has experienced some spiritual warfare. Leading up to this trip, this was my biggest fear. As a fear based and “worst case scenario” person you can imagine where my mind went. 

Even before we left, we experienced what felt like our fair share. The week leading up to our departure I had a very negative experience at work that truly made me question my ability to do my job and as “first world problems” as it sounds, our Wi-Fi was down, meaning I was spending hours at night finishing my work from home- not preparing in prayer like I wanted to be doing. Next, our translator and ministry partner, Kebba, was hospitalized with the threat of potential abdominal surgery should he not improve. The day before we left, we got word that Kebba would likely be discharged so we got on the flight. As soon as we landed, we got more bad news- the rest of the team from Waypoint couldn’t join us AND our flights home would likely be cancelled due to an airline strike. I immediately felt isolated and alone in a foreign country. All during this process and for the remainder of the trip I found myself questioning and even testing God. “If you just keep my kids safe while we’re gone…” “If you just get me on a flight home to my babies tonight…” Eventually, the trip came to a close, and with lots of additional drama (and tears from me) we made it home in time to celebrate the risen Christ with our Waypoint family. 

Days after returning I was processing all that happened, and it was clear God had showed us incredible faithfulness. The lyric from a song played over and over in my head, “He’s faithful through generations, so why would he fail now? He won’t.” What a beautiful testimony. However, I still found myself feeling a sense of shame for my “testing” of the Lord. As part of a bible reading plan, I ended up in Judges 6 with the story about Gideon. Despite knowing his calling from the Lord, Gideon decides to test God’s plan by asking him for multiple signs. The Lord is patient and gentle with Gideon because he knows Gideon’s heart of fear. He doesn’t rebuke or punish Gideon for acting faithlessly, God decreases Gideon’s fears for the purpose of his own glory. God shows Gideon his glory through the miraculous and not the logical. This results in one of the most unlikely military victories led by a fear-filled man because of a calling from a mighty God.  How compelling and beautiful that God doesn’t punish us for our doubts but meets us in our questions. He comes alongside of us and reminds us of his character- faithful, loving, and merciful. He reminds us of the greatest gift of all, He will never leave us or forsake us.