Spiritual Mothering

Written by Carla Love

Mothering might bring to mind feelings of being cared for, both physically and emotionally, or thoughts of someone who listens and understands, possibly helps solve a problem or wipes tears or celebrates with joy. Some of us might not have experienced this with our own mothers but we may have had a grandmother, aunt, or friend’s mom who filled this role in our lives. Mothering is nurturing.

I have been a “birth mother” for 34 years and a grandmother for 5 years. It has been one of the greatest joys and sacrifices of my life. But I was a “spiritual mother" before I was a “birth mother" and I continue this role after my children have left home and started their own families.

Mothering is nurturing. Jesus uses this language when he speaks of being our shepherd. He “carries us close to his heart, he protects us, he feeds us, he leads us, he teaches us, he holds our tears, he listens” (Isaiah 40:11). He invites us to be nurtured by Him and to nurture or shepherd others he brings into our lives.

To nurture or “spiritually mother” others is not too different from what a mother does with their child. It might involve discipling, serving, caregiving, teaching or showing hospitality. We often read this list and think we can’t possibly do this! We think we don’t have the capacity, or we don’t know how, or we are too young or too old. But if He is inviting us then He will give what we need to become spiritual mothers.

We are all called to spiritually mother or nurture others. Spiritual mothering is not just for those who have biological, adopted, or foster children. Look around you. Ask God to make you aware of a few people in your life that might need a spiritual mother. They may need someone who will listen to their story, pray with them and for them, sit with them in their grief and loss, celebrate with them in their joys and keep inviting them to Jesus. They need someone who will read and engage His word with them, invite them over for a meal, show up and serve them when they are in need, send a text of encouragement or prayer. And like a mother who cares for her children, it most certainly will involve sacrifice. You will have to be the initiator. You will give up time to be with them. Caring for them might be messy and inconvenient. Teaching and discipling them might feel slow. But the joy of nurturing another in their journey with Jesus is a gift!

The Lord has been gracious to invite me to this Spiritual Mothering over the years and I count it as one of my greatest joys. I invite you to say yes to His invitation to Spiritual Mothering, to nurture and care for others.

Pursue Christ with Your Spouse

Written by Steve Dingeldein

A couple of years ago my wife and I traveled up north to Indiana to celebrate the marriage of my youngest sibling and his soon to be bride. It was such an exciting time of planning, preparation for the purchase and move into their new home, the wedding preparations, and of course the “big day" celebrating their decision to go through this life together as one. At that time, Wendy and I had been married about 11 years. We knew this decision is one of the most important decisions in a person’s life. But just making the decision to get married and celebrating the high of the wedding day doesn’t stop there. It's what comes after that special day that we were also celebrating and looking forward to for the new couple: the sanctification and growth that comes from a husband and a wife doing life together while striving to live for God. As we have all likely been a part of or know people in our life who have celebrated the joy of two becoming one, we have also all likely seen or been impacted by the pain and suffering when a marriage relationship is broken. We routinely need to take a step back from our daily grind of “to-dos” and evaluate the purpose and reason for marriage.

Marriage was created by God to give us a glimpse of the relationship of Christ and the church. Ephesians 5 draws this parallel for us, “As the Scriptures say, ‘A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.”

Our goal and focus in marriage should be to bring glory to God by serving Him, not ourselves for our selfish desires. We have a responsibility to our spouse to ”spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24).

How do we maintain a biblical mindset on what our marriage was created for? We strive to grow deeper in our understanding and our faith in God. We do this by studying the Word and pursuing God, individually and together as a couple. Here are four practical ways we can pursue God together in our marriages and a brief summary of things God has put on our heart as we seek to follow after Him and use our marriage relationship as a reflection of Christ and the Church.

1. Read the Bible together. It sounds so simple but writing the Word of God on our hearts is powerful. Studying the word together allows you to challenge and sharpen one another not based on your opinion or desires but on Gods perfect desires. Wendy and I routinely ask each other about what God is teaching us and this leads to deep spiritual intimacy rooted in our faith.

2. Pray together. We KNOW this is powerful. Psalm 37:4 tells us “Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” This is not telling us that we will get whatever we ask for but that our desire will match God’s good and perfect desire, We put so much emphasis on communicating with our spouses as the key to a successful marriage (which is helpful), but do we remember to communicate with our Creator? There are times when this can be difficult because of schedules, distractions, and even conflict you may be having with your spouse. It can be hard for me to pray with my wife during times of conflict. I can become prideful and lose my focus on what my marriage is ultimately for. Praying with my spouse in moments of conflict, humbles my heart and refocuses my spirit on our greater goal. Spending time together in prayer with your spouse, communicating with God is of great importance. Aligning your hearts to the desires of our Creator together as spouses will do great things in your marriage.

3. Serve together. James 2:26 says that faith without works is dead. Serving together puts your faith in action. Serving humbles us together and reminds us that we are not the center, and that our calling is to be the hands and feet of Jesus. You will be amazed at how conflict can melt away when your conversations spend more time on how to help other people together verses needs you feel are unmet by your spouse. If you're looking for practical ways you can serve together just ask those around you. You may even consider choosing an evening that you will regularly host different families in your neighborhood for dinner to love on them, or you could even offer to care for another family's young children together to give them a date night. The intentional act of serving together is powerful.

4. Be discipled by another couple (and if you are in a healthy place, be discipling others) This last suggestion is one that my wife and I have practiced with very helpful results over the years. We recognize we are sinful by nature and sometimes we allow selfish pride or fear to creep in and blind us in an argument. Sometimes those molehills turn into mountains and we need other believers to walk alongside us and lovingly point out where we are missing the mark. We have couples that have a few more years of marriage under their belt that we meet with regularly and have invested in us. They know our strengths and our weaknesses. We have great respect for these couples, and when we feel like we may need some help navigating a situation we are stuck in, we know they will provide Godly counsel. We trust their perspective knowing they are not picking sides but pointing out important truth in our potential blind spots.

All these helpful hints will ultimately be ineffective and are simply a patch fix if you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus and the sacrifice He already made on your behalf. Once we rest in the understanding that we cannot do anything to earn God’s favor, and place our faith in Jesus, our lives (and our marriages) will be forever changed!

Please save the date for our next Waypoint Marriage Conference on May 13-14 - more info to come.

Praying for An Exceptional School

Written by Jina Yoo

As another new school year begins, I have mixed feelings as a parent…especially as a parent of a child on the autism spectrum. On one hand, I am excited for another school year for my children- an opportunity to grow and learn not only academically, but socially, emotionally, and in overall life skills. On the other hand, school has not always been easy for us. We have experienced the hardship of finding the right school setting for my son on the spectrum. It can bring feelings of anxiety, stress, and disappointment. Ultimately, I must have faith- I must believe the Lord loves my children more than I do and that He has a plan for them!

Our past difficulty in finding the right fit for my son’s education has revealed a huge need in our lives. Our son would thrive in a school setting that can help manage his behavioral and sensory needs, while still giving him the chance to learn and advance academically. Currently, we have not been able to find such a school in the Triangle. If given the right environment, I KNOW that my son can learn, not only life skills, but academic knowledge. In the past couple of years, I have witnessed him advancing academically (at his own pace) as our friend has kindly taken on the task of teaching him in a one-on-one setting at home.

I know that Lawrence and I are not alone in this need for a different kind of school- a school that helps children regulate their bodies throughout the day so that their minds can soak up the knowledge they are being taught, a school that has enough resources to accommodate disabilities, a school with smaller teacher-to-student ratios yet one that is affordable, a school that is self-sustaining, a school that brings children and teens together who are different and gives them hope for their future!

On our own, this task is way too big and far beyond our reach, but we know the Lord can do anything. If our dream for this school becomes a reality, we will know that it was completely by the power and generous love of God. Would you pray with me? Will you ask the Lord to provide the land, building, administration, teachers, therapists, and students that are necessary to build this school in the Triangle?

If you have any questions or if you would like to know more about our hopes and vision for this school, please feel free to reach out to Lawrence or me. Thank you for being a community that appreciates the ways all children reflect the image of God and for being a church that trusts God with big things!