Spiritual Mothering

Written by Carla Love

Mothering might bring to mind feelings of being cared for, both physically and emotionally, or thoughts of someone who listens and understands, possibly helps solve a problem or wipes tears or celebrates with joy. Some of us might not have experienced this with our own mothers but we may have had a grandmother, aunt, or friend’s mom who filled this role in our lives. Mothering is nurturing.

I have been a “birth mother” for 34 years and a grandmother for 5 years. It has been one of the greatest joys and sacrifices of my life. But I was a “spiritual mother" before I was a “birth mother" and I continue this role after my children have left home and started their own families.

Mothering is nurturing. Jesus uses this language when he speaks of being our shepherd. He “carries us close to his heart, he protects us, he feeds us, he leads us, he teaches us, he holds our tears, he listens” (Isaiah 40:11). He invites us to be nurtured by Him and to nurture or shepherd others he brings into our lives.

To nurture or “spiritually mother” others is not too different from what a mother does with their child. It might involve discipling, serving, caregiving, teaching or showing hospitality. We often read this list and think we can’t possibly do this! We think we don’t have the capacity, or we don’t know how, or we are too young or too old. But if He is inviting us then He will give what we need to become spiritual mothers.

We are all called to spiritually mother or nurture others. Spiritual mothering is not just for those who have biological, adopted, or foster children. Look around you. Ask God to make you aware of a few people in your life that might need a spiritual mother. They may need someone who will listen to their story, pray with them and for them, sit with them in their grief and loss, celebrate with them in their joys and keep inviting them to Jesus. They need someone who will read and engage His word with them, invite them over for a meal, show up and serve them when they are in need, send a text of encouragement or prayer. And like a mother who cares for her children, it most certainly will involve sacrifice. You will have to be the initiator. You will give up time to be with them. Caring for them might be messy and inconvenient. Teaching and discipling them might feel slow. But the joy of nurturing another in their journey with Jesus is a gift!

The Lord has been gracious to invite me to this Spiritual Mothering over the years and I count it as one of my greatest joys. I invite you to say yes to His invitation to Spiritual Mothering, to nurture and care for others.

Because He Loved Them

Written by Sarah Weiner

I began attending church gatherings with my family when I was three years old. My parents had been raised in the church but had not chosen to follow God as teenagers and young adults. By the time they had 3 kids, they decided it might be a good idea to join a church community again. As first-time visitors, I’m sure we were greeted warmly at the door, and then my brothers and I made a beeline for the front pew. I don’t mean the outer edge of the room, but front-and-center. We made ourselves comfortable, and you can imagine my parents with a mix of a smile and a grimace, as that might not have been their first choice. We ended up sitting up front for years!

Funnily enough, I am once again typically sitting on the front row. I guess I have been for a while, but several months ago I was humbled to witness something I hadn’t noticed before. We prepared to take communion as a congregation, and I was one of the first to approach the servers once the table was opened. I sat down after receiving the bread and the juice, still a long line of people waiting in the aisle next to me. I sat there with my eyes closed and instead of praying, I listened to the servers repeat over and over, to each person who stepped in front of them: “the body of Christ was broken for you” and “the blood of Christ was shed for you.”

Do we regularly look at our brothers and sisters in the family of God and view them in this light? In this sacred way? It was more beautiful and powerful to me than it had been before, pondering those truths:

The body of Christ was broken for you.

The blood of Christ was shed for you.

The body of Christ was broken for the one who betrays. His blood was poured out for the one who steals. His body was broken for the one who lies. His blood was poured out for the one who hates. His body was broken for the one filled with pride. His blood was poured out for the one filled with fear.

Our disobedience, our turning from God’s good way, our distrust of Him–these things brought Jesus to the cross. The body broken; the blood poured out. Yet Jesus endured the cross and despised the shame of it, for the joy that was set before him (Hebrews 12:2). It was his joy to lay down his life so that I could have life in him. So that you could have life in him. Jesus faced death (and conquered it!) with deep love and compassion for those who believed and would believe (John 17:20). He calls us to die to the flesh and turn from the way we once walked. Now we are members of his body, walking in the new life of the Spirit. We are his beloved.

No, this is not necessarily a call to sit up front during a Sunday gathering, but I would encourage you to be aware of the people receiving communion around you. The spiritual blessings that are yours in Christ are also theirs! “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight… (Ephesians 1:7–8).

Look at your brothers and sisters with the knowledge that:

• God loved them even as he loved Jesus (John 17:23)

• Jesus was pierced and crushed to atone for their sins (Isaiah 53:5)

• Jesus has sought them and saved them (Luke 19:10)

• They are called children of God (1 John 3:1)

Pray for God to give you humility, compassion, patience, long-suffering, wisdom, and love for these sibling relationships. And praise God that we who were once separated from God and community are now welcomed and set apart for righteousness.

Caring for the Abused

Written by Lindsay King

Sexual abuse, harassment, and misconduct run rampant in all areas of society, including the Church, leaving only destruction in its wake. The Caring Well Initiative was started by the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC) under the leadership of then-ERLC President Dr. Russell Moore and with the support of Summit Church Pastor and then-SBC President J.D. Greear, with the goal of better equipping churches to care for sexual abuse survivors and help prevent future abuse. Over the last several months, Waypoint’s Caring Well Team has been going through the Caring Well training, which includes talks from pastors, experts, and, most importantly, abuse survivors.

It is estimated that roughly 1 out of every 4 people has experienced sexual or domestic abuse. On a given Sunday morning, Waypoint Church has roughly 200 people in service with 70 children in Waypoint Kids. This means approximately 68 of our brothers and sisters, friends, and neighbors/visitors, sitting next to us, have experienced abuse! Unfortunately, the Church (in general) has a history of not being a place of refuge for those who have or are experiencing sexual abuse. Instead of protection and care, people find silence, skepticism, and condemnation, further adding to their trauma and pain. And when abuse or trauma happens within the context of a church, the effects on their faith can be devastating.

The training has taught us that sexual abuse is not just evil; it is the worst evil. It starts slowly, continues secretly, and destroys lives. The abusers are often likable and charming people we know; they do not look like monsters or criminals we see on TV. Victims’ stories often come out fragmented and disordered because of the trauma they have been through. John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” When darkness is exposed, only then can it be rooted out. This side of heaven we will never rid ourselves of the evil of sexual abuse, but we can and must better care for those who have experienced it and reduce the risk of it happening at Waypoint.

Since Waypoint’s Caring Well Team recently completed training, we wanted to provide an update on what you can expect in the coming months.

• Strengthening of Waypoint Church Sexual Misconduct Policy. This policy will be all encompassing (covering staff, volunteers, and members alike) and detail our prevention policies, reporting guidance, and dismissal procedures. Waypoint does currently have sexual abuse and harassment policies in place, this document will strengthen those policies.

• Expanding of the Volunteer Onboarding Process. Every person desiring to work with children under 18 years old will need to undergo an updated onboarding process.

• Updating of Related Waypoint Documentation. The Caring Well Team is reviewing and updating the Waypoint Kids, Youth, Buddy Ministry, and Employee Handbooks to reflect the changes and strengthen policies within each individual handbook.

• Additional Training of Waypoint Staff. Waypoint Leadership and Staff, led by Toni Anderson, are reading and discussing the book Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused, which includes the same topics and speakers from the Caring Well training.

• Charter and Scoping of Waypoint’s long-term team. Reporting is hard and scary. Victims are afraid to report; bystanders/witnesses are afraid to wrongly report. Waypoint’s Abuse Response & Prevention Team (ARP Team) will include trained individuals who will serve as a point of contact of those who have seen, heard, or experienced sexual abuse, harassment, or misconduct at Waypoint. (This team will not take the place of reporting to Child Protective Services or law enforcement.)

What can you do now?

• Pray about joining the Abuse Response & Prevention (ARP) Team now or in the future.

• Educate yourself by learning more about how to care well. You can join Waypoint Staff in reading Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused. The book is available here for free or here for minimal cost. You can also watch one or all the same videos the Caring Well Team did here for free.

• Pray for Waypoint that God would protect our church, help us root out evil, and guide us in caring well for the abused. If you do not believe that sexual abuse is pure evil, watch or listen to one of the survivor stories. The trauma and pain both during the abuse and after they reported is heartbreaking.

• Learn to sit and simply listen, without trying to solve. One of the greatest gifts we can give to the people who confide in us is to simply listen and let their experiences, pain, and struggles be heard whether their stories are clear and concise or fragmented and disjointed. For many things we experience here on Earth, including sexual trauma, mental health problems, and “invisible” illnesses, true and complete healing may not come until Heaven. Learning to listen well, without jumping to solutions, is not easy, but it can often be the best way that we can support the people in our lives who are struggling and/or on a path of healing.

The Caring Well Team includes:

Toni Anderson (Waypoint’s Director of Children Ministries), Bethany Clark, Stephen Clark (Elder), Liz Clevinger, Lindsay King, Caleb Thomas (Youth Director)