A Season of Waiting
Our current American culture teaches us that waiting is unnecessary, that we have the power to minimize the amount of time we have to wait for the things we want. The wait for your online purchase to be delivered has dwindled from multiple days to just 2 hours with Amazon Prime Now. You can have an instant friend or instant date with just one click on your phone or computer. The Instant Pot is so popular for its ability to cook your food in much less time; you don’t have to soak beans overnight or even defrost your meat. The high demand for weight loss pills, anti-anxiety or depression medications designed to get quick results is also changing our medical world.
So naturally, when my husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant, I was upset when we were not pregnant on the first try. The thought of waiting a whole month to try again was intolerable! I armed myself with apps to track my cycle, ovulation predictor kits, and articles/tips on how to get pregnant. I was so determined to have some control over the timing that I was trying to be God. But nothing worked. Month after month of waiting resulted in a lot of anxiety, stress, and frustration. I cried a lot. I tried to blame my husband. I resented all of the other people around me who were pregnant.
Finally realizing that I needed help, I cried out to Jesus and asked for Him. Like the prodigal son, I’ve since then been shown nothing but grace by my Heavenly Father, who had been patiently waiting for me to come to Him this whole time! Jesus has taught me so much in this season of waiting.
Here are a couple things that I’ve learned:
God is with us in our waiting. He hears our prayers. He laments with us. He comforts us. God has surrounded me with brothers and sisters of our Waypoint family who have covered us in prayer and have been a great source of encouragement. He has given me a loving husband who hears me and sees me. The Lord has ultimately strengthened my marriage through this season; we are learning to better love, comfort, and communicate with one another as we go through this journey together. God is sovereign and in control.
Trusting that everything is in His hands frees me from feeling like I am a failure, which is often my sinful response to being unable to control things in my life. God often has to remind me, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings; in all ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:5. I am thankful that God has a plan for our family and that His timing is perfect. It is because of God’s grace that I am no longer waiting in agony but instead waiting in peace.
Over a year has passed now, and we are still not pregnant. While we still do not know when God will grow our family, or whether it will look like biological children or fostered/adopted children at this point, we are at peace knowing that “God is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to His power at work within us” Ephesians 3:20. God’s plan for our life is far better than any plan that we make.
We continue to wait on our Good Lord to see what he has in store for us!